From an early age I was positive I would grow up to be an astronaut. I was in Ms. Leibig's 3rd grade class in January of 1986 watching TV when the space shuttle Challenger exploded. I went home that day and cried to my mom at the sad disaster.
In 1987 my parents planned an amazing vacation for the family. We were going to visit Disney, Epcot and most importantly NASA. I was in hog heaven and was sure of my future. I was going to be an astronaut. I was going to fly in the space shuttle.
When I was in 8th grade in Searcy I had a teacher who was a realist. He knew I probably would not grow up to be an astronaut...and he poked holes in my dream on a daily basis. To this day, it makes me angry. He detested the Hubble Space Telescope when it was sent into space and made fun of it on a regular basis. He thought it was a waste of money and the machine was a lemon. I took it personally. It hurt my feelings. Today, I laugh when I see all the beautiful pictures it has sent back to us. He was wrong about the Hubble...but not about me. I wasn't going to grow up to be an astronaut. But there was nothing wrong with having the dream.
A few years ago Richard, Dean and I were in Coco Beach, Florida on vacation when one of the space shuttles took off from Cape Canaveral. We were standing on the beach with thousands of other people watching the lift off from 4 miles away. It was AMAZING! In that moment I was a kid again longing to be an astronaut. It made the earth shake below us, it was severely loud and I was speechless.
Today, I am sad again as I sit watching Madi looking at the images of the space shuttle on TV. She won't see a space shuttle lift off in person. She will not know the awesomeness of the space shuttle except through pictures and videos. Maybe she will know other forms of space exploration, but the space shuttle will not be part of that. It is the end of an era and I am once again reminded that I will not ever be able to live my dream. I am okay with that today. It makes me think of her and the dreams she will have. I do not know what she will dream about being when she grows up, but I will do everything in my power, as my parents did, to feed that dream and help her achieve whatever she wants to do.
Fare thee well, dear space shuttle. You have been and always will be my unattainable dream.
